What is Marriage?
A. The Main Goal of Marriage Is To Help One Another Serve God.( that simple)
B. Marriage Is for Companionship and Love.
Genesis 2:18,21,22 -
Woman was created because it was not good for man to be alone and because
animals were not suitable companions for him.(animals were NOT...cant talk, sex
with them is wrong..) So God created woman to be a companion and helper to man.
[Proverbs 18:22; 19:14]
Malachi 2:14 - The wife is a
companion with whom the man has entered into the
marriage covenant. [Proverbs 2:17]
Ephesians 5:25-29; Titus 2:4 - Husband and
wife are both TOLD to love one another.
When
man and wife are in proper roles loving one another as the Bible teaches, they
fulfill one of the strongest and greatest needs people have and desire . Nobody
should marry until they are ready to love and care for their spouse at least as
great as they care for themselves. ( this means if your cold maybe she is. if
your hungry maybe she is. if your tired maybe she is and so on on on on
on
C. Marriage Is To Bear and Raise Children.Psalms 127:3-5; 128:1-6 -
Children should be appreciated as a gift from God.
Malachi 2:15 - God makes
man and woman one, because He seeks godly offspring.
Ephesians 6:4 - Parents
have a duty, in the family, to raise and train the children they bring into the
world [Genesis 3:16].
No institution or arrangement, other than the family,
can produce the same benefits for children. This is one reason why it is immoral
to bear children out of wedlock or to refuse to care for them after we have
given them birth. If children can be raised acceptably by child-care
arrangements or government facilities, why did God insist that they be raised in
a family?
One of life's greatest fulfillments is the sense of
accomplishment that comes from knowing you have brought into this world and
brought up children who honor God and are a blessing to people around them.
Young couples should not marry unless they are both willing to make the
sacrifices and put forth the effort to do the very best they can to achieve this
goal.
D. Marriage Is to Express Sexual Affection.Hebrews 13:4 - The
sexual union is holy and pure only within marriage.
Proverbs 5:15-20 - Man
should find fulfillment for his desires only in his lawful wife.
(only his
wife not a third party or behind the back stuff)
1 Corinthians 7:2-5,8,9 -
Husband and wife should express sexual affection, not tempting their companion
by "defrauding" them. Satisfying this desire is one legitimate reason for
getting married. (cause if the virgin tempts you, marry her)
Note that
the sexual union is not just for procreation. It is a
basic urge created by God. It is pure and holy, but it can properly be fulfilled
only within the God-ordained institution of marriage. So, it becomes a natural
expression of the love and companionship of marriage.
(you may say wow the
same woman forever? really? well ill need viagra. now everwonder why we are told
we need thins like tha for ED or whatever meds your taking casues that as a side
effect. we are bobmbarded on TV with youthful sex everywhere. On road signs,
paper ads. so 50 years agoall they had was pin up girls on the side of the
planes. that in its time was bad, ill get into porn later)
When we
understand the proper reasons for marriage, we also understand why it is a
mistake for people to marry for other reasons, such as:
* To attain
wealth, influence, popularity, or social status( i knew a chic, when i worked at
the club, who tried to get with every performer who came through so she could
trap sombody. well in the end she did and lives in Vegas now but thats all i
know about her)
* To escape serious problems in their previous home
life
(i know some folks like this, had to raise siblings or those with
disabilities)
* Because all ones friends are getting married
( i now
oneand she was up set casue her friends had babies.)
* Just so you can feel
like somebody wanted you - some people have felt unloved and rejected or
inferior all their lives, so they just want to feel like somebody wants
them.
(this kinda playin hand with the second one so your looking for an out
and if the unlucky someone gives you the attention, gone..)
1
Corinthians 7 (New International Version) 1 Corinthians 7 Marriage
1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not
to marry.[a] 2But
since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each
woman her own husband.( 1 man 1 wife) 3The husband should
fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
(both making efforts) 4The wife's body does not belong to her
alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not
belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each
other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves
to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of
your lack of self-control.(ill go get porn ans you read a romance novel)
6I say this as a concession, not as a command.
7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own
gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8Now to
the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I
am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry,
for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
A. The Main Goal
of Marriage Is To Help One Another Serve God.( that simple)
B. Marriage Is
for Companionship and Love.
Genesis 2:18,21,22 - Woman was created
because it was not good for man to be alone and because animals were not
suitable companions for him.(animals were NOT...cant talk, sex with them is
wrong..) So God created woman to be a companion and helper to man. [Proverbs
18:22; 19:14]
Malachi 2:14 - The wife is a companion
with whom the man has entered into the marriage covenant.
[Proverbs 2:17]
Ephesians 5:25-29; Titus 2:4 - Husband and wife are both TOLD
to love one another.
When man and wife are in
proper roles loving one another as the Bible teaches, they fulfill one of the
strongest and greatest needs people have and desire . Nobody should marry
until they are ready to love and care for their spouse at least as great as they
care for themselves. ( this means if your cold maybe she is. if your hungry
maybe she is. if your tired maybe she is and so on on on on on
C.
Marriage Is To Bear and Raise Children.Psalms 127:3-5; 128:1-6 - Children should
be appreciated as a gift from God.
Malachi 2:15 - God makes man and woman
one, because He seeks godly offspring.
Ephesians 6:4 - Parents have a duty,
in the family, to raise and train the children they bring into the world
[Genesis 3:16].
No institution or arrangement, other than the family, can
produce the same benefits for children. This is one reason why it is immoral to
bear children out of wedlock or to refuse to care for them after we have given
them birth. If children can be raised acceptably by child-care arrangements or
government facilities, why did God insist that they be raised in a
family?
One of life's greatest fulfillments is the sense of
accomplishment that comes from knowing you have brought into this world and
brought up children who honor God and are a blessing to people around them.
Young couples should not marry unless they are both willing to make the
sacrifices and put forth the effort to do the very best they can to achieve this
goal.
D. Marriage Is to Express Sexual Affection.Hebrews 13:4 - The
sexual union is holy and pure only within marriage.
Proverbs 5:15-20 - Man
should find fulfillment for his desires only in his lawful wife.
(only his
wife not a third party or behind the back stuff)
1 Corinthians 7:2-5,8,9 -
Husband and wife should express sexual affection, not tempting their companion
by "defrauding" them. Satisfying this desire is one legitimate reason for
getting married. (cause if the virgin tempts you, marry her)
Note that
the sexual union is not just for procreation. It is a
basic urge created by God. It is pure and holy, but it can properly be fulfilled
only within the God-ordained institution of marriage. So, it becomes a natural
expression of the love and companionship of marriage.
(you may say wow the
same woman forever? really? well ill need viagra. now everwonder why we are told
we need thins like tha for ED or whatever meds your taking casues that as a side
effect. we are bobmbarded on TV with youthful sex everywhere. On road signs,
paper ads. so 50 years agoall they had was pin up girls on the side of the
planes. that in its time was bad, ill get into porn later)
When we
understand the proper reasons for marriage, we also understand why it is a
mistake for people to marry for other reasons, such as:
* To attain
wealth, influence, popularity, or social status( i knew a chic, when i worked at
the club, who tried to get with every performer who came through so she could
trap sombody. well in the end she did and lives in Vegas now but thats all i
know about her)
* To escape serious problems in their previous home
life
(i know some folks like this, had to raise siblings or those with
disabilities)
* Because all ones friends are getting married
( i now
oneand she was up set casue her friends had babies.)
* Just so you can feel
like somebody wanted you - some people have felt unloved and rejected or
inferior all their lives, so they just want to feel like somebody wants
them.
(this kinda playin hand with the second one so your looking for an out
and if the unlucky someone gives you the attention, gone..)
1
Corinthians 7 (New International Version) 1 Corinthians 7 Marriage
1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not
to marry.[a] 2But
since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each
woman her own husband.( 1 man 1 wife) 3The husband should
fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
(both making efforts) 4The wife's body does not belong to her
alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not
belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each
other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves
to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of
your lack of self-control.(ill go get porn ans you read a romance novel)
6I say this as a concession, not as a command.
7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own
gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8Now to
the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I
am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry,
for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
B. Marriage Is for Companionship and Love.
Genesis 2:18,21,22 -
Woman was created because it was not good for man to be alone and because
animals were not suitable companions for him.(animals were NOT...cant talk, sex
with them is wrong..) So God created woman to be a companion and helper to man.
[Proverbs 18:22; 19:14]
Malachi 2:14 - The wife is a
companion with whom the man has entered into the
marriage covenant. [Proverbs 2:17]
Ephesians 5:25-29; Titus 2:4 - Husband and
wife are both TOLD to love one another.
When
man and wife are in proper roles loving one another as the Bible teaches, they
fulfill one of the strongest and greatest needs people have and desire . Nobody
should marry until they are ready to love and care for their spouse at least as
great as they care for themselves. ( this means if your cold maybe she is. if
your hungry maybe she is. if your tired maybe she is and so on on on on
on
C. Marriage Is To Bear and Raise Children.Psalms 127:3-5; 128:1-6 -
Children should be appreciated as a gift from God.
Malachi 2:15 - God makes
man and woman one, because He seeks godly offspring.
Ephesians 6:4 - Parents
have a duty, in the family, to raise and train the children they bring into the
world [Genesis 3:16].
No institution or arrangement, other than the family,
can produce the same benefits for children. This is one reason why it is immoral
to bear children out of wedlock or to refuse to care for them after we have
given them birth. If children can be raised acceptably by child-care
arrangements or government facilities, why did God insist that they be raised in
a family?
One of life's greatest fulfillments is the sense of
accomplishment that comes from knowing you have brought into this world and
brought up children who honor God and are a blessing to people around them.
Young couples should not marry unless they are both willing to make the
sacrifices and put forth the effort to do the very best they can to achieve this
goal.
D. Marriage Is to Express Sexual Affection.Hebrews 13:4 - The
sexual union is holy and pure only within marriage.
Proverbs 5:15-20 - Man
should find fulfillment for his desires only in his lawful wife.
(only his
wife not a third party or behind the back stuff)
1 Corinthians 7:2-5,8,9 -
Husband and wife should express sexual affection, not tempting their companion
by "defrauding" them. Satisfying this desire is one legitimate reason for
getting married. (cause if the virgin tempts you, marry her)
Note that
the sexual union is not just for procreation. It is a
basic urge created by God. It is pure and holy, but it can properly be fulfilled
only within the God-ordained institution of marriage. So, it becomes a natural
expression of the love and companionship of marriage.
(you may say wow the
same woman forever? really? well ill need viagra. now everwonder why we are told
we need thins like tha for ED or whatever meds your taking casues that as a side
effect. we are bobmbarded on TV with youthful sex everywhere. On road signs,
paper ads. so 50 years agoall they had was pin up girls on the side of the
planes. that in its time was bad, ill get into porn later)
When we
understand the proper reasons for marriage, we also understand why it is a
mistake for people to marry for other reasons, such as:
* To attain
wealth, influence, popularity, or social status( i knew a chic, when i worked at
the club, who tried to get with every performer who came through so she could
trap sombody. well in the end she did and lives in Vegas now but thats all i
know about her)
* To escape serious problems in their previous home
life
(i know some folks like this, had to raise siblings or those with
disabilities)
* Because all ones friends are getting married
( i now
oneand she was up set casue her friends had babies.)
* Just so you can feel
like somebody wanted you - some people have felt unloved and rejected or
inferior all their lives, so they just want to feel like somebody wants
them.
(this kinda playin hand with the second one so your looking for an out
and if the unlucky someone gives you the attention, gone..)
1
Corinthians 7 (New International Version) 1 Corinthians 7 Marriage
1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not
to marry.[a] 2But
since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each
woman her own husband.( 1 man 1 wife) 3The husband should
fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
(both making efforts) 4The wife's body does not belong to her
alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not
belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each
other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves
to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of
your lack of self-control.(ill go get porn ans you read a romance novel)
6I say this as a concession, not as a command.
7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own
gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8Now to
the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I
am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry,
for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
A. The Main Goal
of Marriage Is To Help One Another Serve God.( that simple)
B. Marriage Is
for Companionship and Love.
Genesis 2:18,21,22 - Woman was created
because it was not good for man to be alone and because animals were not
suitable companions for him.(animals were NOT...cant talk, sex with them is
wrong..) So God created woman to be a companion and helper to man. [Proverbs
18:22; 19:14]
Malachi 2:14 - The wife is a companion
with whom the man has entered into the marriage covenant.
[Proverbs 2:17]
Ephesians 5:25-29; Titus 2:4 - Husband and wife are both TOLD
to love one another.
When man and wife are in
proper roles loving one another as the Bible teaches, they fulfill one of the
strongest and greatest needs people have and desire . Nobody should marry
until they are ready to love and care for their spouse at least as great as they
care for themselves. ( this means if your cold maybe she is. if your hungry
maybe she is. if your tired maybe she is and so on on on on on
C.
Marriage Is To Bear and Raise Children.Psalms 127:3-5; 128:1-6 - Children should
be appreciated as a gift from God.
Malachi 2:15 - God makes man and woman
one, because He seeks godly offspring.
Ephesians 6:4 - Parents have a duty,
in the family, to raise and train the children they bring into the world
[Genesis 3:16].
No institution or arrangement, other than the family, can
produce the same benefits for children. This is one reason why it is immoral to
bear children out of wedlock or to refuse to care for them after we have given
them birth. If children can be raised acceptably by child-care arrangements or
government facilities, why did God insist that they be raised in a
family?
One of life's greatest fulfillments is the sense of
accomplishment that comes from knowing you have brought into this world and
brought up children who honor God and are a blessing to people around them.
Young couples should not marry unless they are both willing to make the
sacrifices and put forth the effort to do the very best they can to achieve this
goal.
D. Marriage Is to Express Sexual Affection.Hebrews 13:4 - The
sexual union is holy and pure only within marriage.
Proverbs 5:15-20 - Man
should find fulfillment for his desires only in his lawful wife.
(only his
wife not a third party or behind the back stuff)
1 Corinthians 7:2-5,8,9 -
Husband and wife should express sexual affection, not tempting their companion
by "defrauding" them. Satisfying this desire is one legitimate reason for
getting married. (cause if the virgin tempts you, marry her)
Note that
the sexual union is not just for procreation. It is a
basic urge created by God. It is pure and holy, but it can properly be fulfilled
only within the God-ordained institution of marriage. So, it becomes a natural
expression of the love and companionship of marriage.
(you may say wow the
same woman forever? really? well ill need viagra. now everwonder why we are told
we need thins like tha for ED or whatever meds your taking casues that as a side
effect. we are bobmbarded on TV with youthful sex everywhere. On road signs,
paper ads. so 50 years agoall they had was pin up girls on the side of the
planes. that in its time was bad, ill get into porn later)
When we
understand the proper reasons for marriage, we also understand why it is a
mistake for people to marry for other reasons, such as:
* To attain
wealth, influence, popularity, or social status( i knew a chic, when i worked at
the club, who tried to get with every performer who came through so she could
trap sombody. well in the end she did and lives in Vegas now but thats all i
know about her)
* To escape serious problems in their previous home
life
(i know some folks like this, had to raise siblings or those with
disabilities)
* Because all ones friends are getting married
( i now
oneand she was up set casue her friends had babies.)
* Just so you can feel
like somebody wanted you - some people have felt unloved and rejected or
inferior all their lives, so they just want to feel like somebody wants
them.
(this kinda playin hand with the second one so your looking for an out
and if the unlucky someone gives you the attention, gone..)
1
Corinthians 7 (New International Version) 1 Corinthians 7 Marriage
1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not
to marry.[a] 2But
since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each
woman her own husband.( 1 man 1 wife) 3The husband should
fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
(both making efforts) 4The wife's body does not belong to her
alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not
belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each
other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves
to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of
your lack of self-control.(ill go get porn ans you read a romance novel)
6I say this as a concession, not as a command.
7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own
gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8Now to
the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I
am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry,
for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Mans role in Marriage
Ten comandment for husbands.
(Is this scripture? yes but in a funny way)
Genesis 3:16, says in part "her desire shall be to man".
Then Eph. 5:23,
"husband is head of the wife";
then I Tim.
2:11-12,
"She shall have no dominion over a man".
Now don't stop at
these verses and think that the only responsibility of the husband is to be HEAD
of the house. Head does not mean master as in a master-slave relationship, nor
does it mean a relationship like a general to a private in the army. It is more
like a partnership where one is the leader, guide, director. Now consider this.
Can you think of any decision that a husband should make WITHOUT consulting or
considering his wife and her wishes? I cant(can you really buy a new house or
car or a TV for that matter wothout disscussing it)
Now let us consider
some other responsibilities.
1. The husband is to love his wife above
all other human beings. Consider Eph. 5:25 and 28; and Col. 3:19. These passages
teach that the husband is to be considerate and tender.
The verses in
Ephesians 5 teach that the husband is to cherish his wife. This means that she
is to be treated with tenderness and affection. This would mean that since love
must be fed, there is to be a warm demonstrative love relationship. The husband
has the responsibility of not only demonstrating his love and concern, but
telling her.
He should not sit in such self-absorption that he does not talk
with her and communicate with her socially, mentally, verbally and physically.
The husband will demonstrate his love for his wife in other ways, rather than
just at the time of sexual relationship. If this is the only time that affection
and consideration is shown, then a wife will get the idea that all a husband is
interested in is her body and that she is merely a sex object.
2. I
Peter 3:7, teaches that the husband is to honor his wife. She gave up her name
to take yours. Honor means that you should show her respect and this involves
courtesy, consideration and emotional support. Be sure that as her husband that
you do not hold her up to ridicule in public by the cutting remarks that you
make.( dont air dirty laundry or put her down like that) She wears YOUR name and
is to viewed as part of your body. She is not perfect and you are aware of this.
Do not expect perfection, but as Ephesians 4:32 teaches, "forbear one another".
This means to be gentle toward her. Control of temper, abstaining from physical
violence and restraining a sharp tongue that makes one feel so inferior - are
ways by which you can exhibit forbearance.
3. Paul presents another
responsibility of husbands in I Timothy 5:8 - "But if any provide not for his
own, especially for those of his own household, he hath denied the faith and is
worse than an infidel". Marriage is a financial venture and the husband has a
responsibility to finance or support or provide for his family. This is talking
about money. As a husband, your earnings are not your own but belong to your
wife as well and your children. ( so no secret accounts and stealing money from
the house stash)
4. Ephesians 6:4, "Fathers provoke not your children
to wrath", and again in Colossians 3:21, "Fathers provoke not your children to
anger lest they be discouraged". The husband therefore does not leave all the
discipline up to his wife, but shares in the molding and direction of your
children. ( she is your life partner)
It is not a proper division of
responsibility to say that as the husband I will provide the living and the wife
is to take care of the house and children. The husband has duties even after his
days work is done by which lie is earning a living to support his family
The Christian father should set an example for his family as he earns a
living, directs the household with concern for each member, and as he fulfills
his role as head of the house. He should see to their spiritual development by
the life he lives and the direction in which he leads his family.
A woman responds to what she receives. If she receives irritability,
criticism, disapproval, unkindness, indifference, lack of appreciation, or lack
of affection, she will respond with a defense mechanism, such as bitterness,
coolness, defiance, or nagging. Some women turn to drinking or submerge
themselves in social activities.
“If she’d only quit nagging, I could
love her more.” If that’s what you’ve been telling yourself, then you have it
backwards! The husband must take the initiative.
The Husband Should
Be Committed to Marriage for Life. Multitudes of marriages in our society end in
divorce. Consider the Bible teaching.
Romans 7:2,3 -- Husband and wife are
bound as long as they both live. One may remarry only when his spouse has died.
To remarry while ones spouse is alive constitutes adultery. (Mal. 2:14-16)
Matthew 19:3-9 -- Fornication is the only Scriptural grounds for divorce.
One is guilty of adultery if he divorces for another reason and remarries. This
constitutes adultery because he is still bound to his first wife, yet having the
sexual union with another woman. (Matt. 5:31,32)
Man should enter marriage
fully realizing that it is a lifetime commitment. Divorce without Scriptural
grounds should never be seriously considered nor discussed as an option.
However, if one is in an unscriptural remarriage, he must leave it to avoid
adultery (cf. 1 Cor. 7:10,11).
The Husband Should Work to Provide for
the Physical Needs of the Family.
Many men leave their wives and
children without the necessities of life because they quit their jobs for
frivolous reasons or waste their income selfishly.
Genesis 3:17-19 -- The
man was required to labor despite hardships in order to have food. (Cf. 2 Thess.
3:10.)
1 Timothy 5:8 -- As the head of the family (see next point), a man
should provide, not just for himself, but for his whole household. The Bible
gives many examples of men having occupations or businesses outside the home.
Many Bible examples show men employed away from the home in such occupations as
shepherd, carpenter, physician, fisherman, merchant, farmer, sailor, preacher,
tentmaker, etc. (See also Eph. 5:28,29).
This is the God-given duty of the
husband. NO NO NO NO passage instructs the wife to do this. Man should not
neglect his other responsibilities by over-emphasizing work. Yet one who
neglects working, expecting his wife or other people to provide income for his
family, is worse than an infidel.
The Husband Should Be the Head
of the Family.
Some claim that man should not exercise authority over
his wife or that his authority should be limited to just certain areas. In
practice, women are often the leaders in making family decisions. But note:
Ephesians 5:22-24 -- The husband is head of his wife as Christ is head of
the church (see other verses below). Neither his wife nor their parents are the
authority in his family (cf. Gen. 2:24). (this means the Inlaws have no say in
what goes on in your marriage and you shouldnt be running and telling them all
yourt gossiop of your spouce that is for yall to work out, Not play the blame
game)
Love will lead a husband to consider the needs and desires of the
wife and children. He will make decisions for the good of the whole group, not
just to please himself. This requires discussion at times to understand the
views of others.
However, the husband does have the final authority, and
will give account to God for his decisions.
Often this responsibility
is not a privilege but a burden. He needs the courage to stand for what he is
convinced is best, even when the wife or children disagree.
If the wife
fails to fulfill her duties, this does not justify the husband in failing to
fulfill his duties (Romans 12:17-21; Luke 6:27-35).
(Is this scripture? yes but in a funny way)
- Thou shalt not take thy wife for granted, but will honour and respect her as
thy equal. (1 Pet 3:7)
- Thy highest allegiance, except God, shall be to thy wife, not thy relatives
or friends. (Gen 2:24)
- Thou shalt frequently tell thy wife how important & valuable she is to
thee. (Phil 2:3; Prov 31:10-11)
- Thou shalt hold thy wife's love by the same means that thou won it. (Sos
5:10-16)
- Thou shalt actively establish family discipline with thy wife's help. (Eph
6:4)
- Remember to do all the little things for thy wife when you say you will. (Mt
5:37)
- Keep thine eyes on thy own wife, not thy neighbors. (Prov 5:15-20; Job 31:1;
Jer 5:8)
- Thou shalt make every effort to see things from thy wife's point of view.
(Gen 21:12)
- Thou shalt not fail to kiss thy wife every morning. (Sos 8:1)
- Thou shalt not be stingy with thy wife when it comes to money. (Esther
5:3)
Genesis 3:16, says in part "her desire shall be to man".
Then Eph. 5:23,
"husband is head of the wife";
then I Tim.
2:11-12,
"She shall have no dominion over a man".
Now don't stop at
these verses and think that the only responsibility of the husband is to be HEAD
of the house. Head does not mean master as in a master-slave relationship, nor
does it mean a relationship like a general to a private in the army. It is more
like a partnership where one is the leader, guide, director. Now consider this.
Can you think of any decision that a husband should make WITHOUT consulting or
considering his wife and her wishes? I cant(can you really buy a new house or
car or a TV for that matter wothout disscussing it)
Now let us consider
some other responsibilities.
1. The husband is to love his wife above
all other human beings. Consider Eph. 5:25 and 28; and Col. 3:19. These passages
teach that the husband is to be considerate and tender.
The verses in
Ephesians 5 teach that the husband is to cherish his wife. This means that she
is to be treated with tenderness and affection. This would mean that since love
must be fed, there is to be a warm demonstrative love relationship. The husband
has the responsibility of not only demonstrating his love and concern, but
telling her.
He should not sit in such self-absorption that he does not talk
with her and communicate with her socially, mentally, verbally and physically.
The husband will demonstrate his love for his wife in other ways, rather than
just at the time of sexual relationship. If this is the only time that affection
and consideration is shown, then a wife will get the idea that all a husband is
interested in is her body and that she is merely a sex object.
2. I
Peter 3:7, teaches that the husband is to honor his wife. She gave up her name
to take yours. Honor means that you should show her respect and this involves
courtesy, consideration and emotional support. Be sure that as her husband that
you do not hold her up to ridicule in public by the cutting remarks that you
make.( dont air dirty laundry or put her down like that) She wears YOUR name and
is to viewed as part of your body. She is not perfect and you are aware of this.
Do not expect perfection, but as Ephesians 4:32 teaches, "forbear one another".
This means to be gentle toward her. Control of temper, abstaining from physical
violence and restraining a sharp tongue that makes one feel so inferior - are
ways by which you can exhibit forbearance.
3. Paul presents another
responsibility of husbands in I Timothy 5:8 - "But if any provide not for his
own, especially for those of his own household, he hath denied the faith and is
worse than an infidel". Marriage is a financial venture and the husband has a
responsibility to finance or support or provide for his family. This is talking
about money. As a husband, your earnings are not your own but belong to your
wife as well and your children. ( so no secret accounts and stealing money from
the house stash)
4. Ephesians 6:4, "Fathers provoke not your children
to wrath", and again in Colossians 3:21, "Fathers provoke not your children to
anger lest they be discouraged". The husband therefore does not leave all the
discipline up to his wife, but shares in the molding and direction of your
children. ( she is your life partner)
It is not a proper division of
responsibility to say that as the husband I will provide the living and the wife
is to take care of the house and children. The husband has duties even after his
days work is done by which lie is earning a living to support his family
The Christian father should set an example for his family as he earns a
living, directs the household with concern for each member, and as he fulfills
his role as head of the house. He should see to their spiritual development by
the life he lives and the direction in which he leads his family.
A woman responds to what she receives. If she receives irritability,
criticism, disapproval, unkindness, indifference, lack of appreciation, or lack
of affection, she will respond with a defense mechanism, such as bitterness,
coolness, defiance, or nagging. Some women turn to drinking or submerge
themselves in social activities.
“If she’d only quit nagging, I could
love her more.” If that’s what you’ve been telling yourself, then you have it
backwards! The husband must take the initiative.
The Husband Should
Be Committed to Marriage for Life. Multitudes of marriages in our society end in
divorce. Consider the Bible teaching.
Romans 7:2,3 -- Husband and wife are
bound as long as they both live. One may remarry only when his spouse has died.
To remarry while ones spouse is alive constitutes adultery. (Mal. 2:14-16)
Matthew 19:3-9 -- Fornication is the only Scriptural grounds for divorce.
One is guilty of adultery if he divorces for another reason and remarries. This
constitutes adultery because he is still bound to his first wife, yet having the
sexual union with another woman. (Matt. 5:31,32)
Man should enter marriage
fully realizing that it is a lifetime commitment. Divorce without Scriptural
grounds should never be seriously considered nor discussed as an option.
However, if one is in an unscriptural remarriage, he must leave it to avoid
adultery (cf. 1 Cor. 7:10,11).
The Husband Should Work to Provide for
the Physical Needs of the Family.
Many men leave their wives and
children without the necessities of life because they quit their jobs for
frivolous reasons or waste their income selfishly.
Genesis 3:17-19 -- The
man was required to labor despite hardships in order to have food. (Cf. 2 Thess.
3:10.)
1 Timothy 5:8 -- As the head of the family (see next point), a man
should provide, not just for himself, but for his whole household. The Bible
gives many examples of men having occupations or businesses outside the home.
Many Bible examples show men employed away from the home in such occupations as
shepherd, carpenter, physician, fisherman, merchant, farmer, sailor, preacher,
tentmaker, etc. (See also Eph. 5:28,29).
This is the God-given duty of the
husband. NO NO NO NO passage instructs the wife to do this. Man should not
neglect his other responsibilities by over-emphasizing work. Yet one who
neglects working, expecting his wife or other people to provide income for his
family, is worse than an infidel.
The Husband Should Be the Head
of the Family.
Some claim that man should not exercise authority over
his wife or that his authority should be limited to just certain areas. In
practice, women are often the leaders in making family decisions. But note:
Ephesians 5:22-24 -- The husband is head of his wife as Christ is head of
the church (see other verses below). Neither his wife nor their parents are the
authority in his family (cf. Gen. 2:24). (this means the Inlaws have no say in
what goes on in your marriage and you shouldnt be running and telling them all
yourt gossiop of your spouce that is for yall to work out, Not play the blame
game)
Love will lead a husband to consider the needs and desires of the
wife and children. He will make decisions for the good of the whole group, not
just to please himself. This requires discussion at times to understand the
views of others.
However, the husband does have the final authority, and
will give account to God for his decisions.
Often this responsibility
is not a privilege but a burden. He needs the courage to stand for what he is
convinced is best, even when the wife or children disagree.
If the wife
fails to fulfill her duties, this does not justify the husband in failing to
fulfill his duties (Romans 12:17-21; Luke 6:27-35).
Womans role in Marriage
- __Ok so well start with the women folk casue htey seem to be gettin restless.
1 Titus 2:3-5 said "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the
way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what
is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and
children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home,
to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the
word of God."(ever heard of hunters and gathers? it is said here. Older women
have an obligation to teach the youth skills to help in life and marriage NOT
gossip and drama)
The woman is to be home oriented. this is not a
minor role,this is THE major role.( But can we do this in todays society? No its
real hard if you try casue of the ACLU and Bra burning and womens lib and lilith
fair things like that. Now you are expected to both work and keep up with the
Jonses. how many kids suffer casue of going to day care at 6 weeks old being
raised by strangers paid minimum wage? Ever worked at home? i have and it aint
easy yet women look down at house wife roles as if they have sold out..) Paul
said the woman to build home and the man provide for the home through the
participation of the marketplace.
(as a man it hard to find a job that pays
for a family to live on, but this is his role)
In today's society once
again, the home is viewed very lowly. It is seen as a place to sleep and eat so
you can go back to work. Caring for a home is hard work, just as hard as going
to the office, and satisfying, just as satisfying as being promoted.
A
woman is by nature caring. Look at jobs that require high amount care, like
nurses and counselors, isn't the majority women? Women just care more than man.
They are more sensitive and more capable of compassionite love.
This is
because women are made to be men's helpers. Genesis 2:20-22
said, "So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all
the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was
found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into deep sleep; and while he was
sleeping, He took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then
God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to
the man."
Helpers is again not a diminishing role. The Holy Spirit is
described in the bible as our helper.
(how important is that book to
life)
"Modern" women is always thinking, why should I be helper? I want
to be the leader or equal. I want to be independent. This is a distorted view.
it is often called the Jezebel Spirit. The leader needs the
helper and so does the helper need the leader. Women think this way today
because they are taught pride is the highest virtue. Your self-esteem is the
most important thing in the world.
But the bible preaches humility is
the highest virtue and love is the most important thing in the world.
(so we
gotta get the world outta our head)
A man NEEDs his wife to be
dependent on him. It is needed for a man to feel important. This has nothing to
do with self-esteem. That just a man. Just like a woman needs her husband to
love her. That is her. We are all made to be dependent on each other and as a
community.
Instead of commanding respect, God commands treating with
respect. To honor means to treat with respect. If the wife wants to obey God,
please Him, and show God that she loves Him, she will treat her husband with
respect, even if she is unable to respect him as a person, or respect his
judgment. (same for the man) Too often, when "two become one," there is a
power-struggle to determine which "one" they will become. Will they become him?
Or her? ( tis is like -names and men taking womens names in marriage) Instead of
a selfish and prideful fight for power, they should become "one" in their desire
to please GOD, in their desire to serve Him, in their desire to fulfill their
respective roles in marriage, and in their desire to help each other become more
and more Christ-like.
This does not mean that the wife cannot
assist in supporting the family—Proverbs 31 demonstrates that a godly wife may
surely do so—but providing for the family is not primarily her responsibility;
it is her husband’s. While a husband should help with the children and with
household chores (thereby fulfilling his duty to love his wife), Proverbs 31
also makes it clear that the home is to be the woman’s primary area of influence
and responsibility. Even if she must stay up late and rise up early, her family
is well cared for. This is not an easy lifestyle for many women—especially in
affluent Western nations. However, far too many women are stressed out and
stretched to the breaking point. To prevent such stress, both husband and wife
should prayerfully reorder their priorities and follow the Bible’s instructions
on their roles.
The woman is a responder. This is the obvious role
of someone who depends on another person. Flowers depend on sunshine and rain;
when they get it, they respond by blossoming into gorgeous beauty. This is how
God made a woman too. She responds to what she receives. If she receives
irritability, criticism, disapproval, unkindness, indifference, lack of
appreciation, or lack of affection, she will respond with a defense mechanism,
such as bitterness, coolness, defiance, or nagging. Some women turn to drinking
or submerge themselves in social activities.
Love will also involve
helping. Most wives work hard, maybe even harder than their husbands, and no
husband ought to be above helping with the housework and the children. If the
wife is really the weaker vessel, then wiping the dishes, sweeping the floor,
supervising the children, cleaning the windows, or dozens of other little
helpful acts are just other ways of saying, “I love you.”
The Wife
Too Should Have a Lifetime Commitment to the Marriage. Neither the man nor the
woman have the right to end the marriage while their spouse is alive, except for
the cause of fornication.
The Wife Should Love Her Husband. Modern
feminists say a woman does not need a man but should find fulfillment outside
marriage.
Genesis 2:18-24 -- Woman was created to be a companion and
helper to man. She is not required to marry (see 1 Cor. 7), but by nature she
would find her greatest fulfillment in life by loving and caring for a family.
(See also Mal. 2:14.)( i know divorced women who long for this again, the smells
and touch and jsut the feeling you get froma complete home.)
Titus 2:4
-- Young women should be taught to love their husbands and their children. This
is something a woman can learn to do. Again, love is a matter of choice and
commitment, not primarily a romantic mood.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 -- The
wife too should show affection and fulfill her husband's sexual needs.
Now time for the worst part:The Wife Should Submit to the Headship of
the Husband. We have learned that God teaches husbands to use their authority in
love. Though our society may protest and rebel, He also tells wives to submit to
their husbands. _
Ephesians 5:22-24,33 -- Just as the church should submit to
Christ, not rebelliously but respectfully, so the wife must abide by all her
husband's decisions. The only exception would be if the husband commanded her to
do something that would violate God's law (Acts 5:29).
( but from what we
have read we see that men are to love wives as Christ loved the church, now does
that seemover bearig?